This pregnancy is so joyful, I was thrilled when I saw a positive result. My first impulse: call Lisa and begin scheming how I will tell Nick. Yes, that's right folks, my husband was not the first to find out...but he wasn't the last either.
I love my husband and he is everything to me...but there's something about a girlfriend who is the other half of your brain. I could not possibly begin to process or truly accept I was pregnant until the other half of my brain knew...so I called Lisa.
These are the thoughts that go through the head of a mom....an experienced mom who knows what to expect...who knows what can go wrong. When you find out your pregnant, the baby is about the size of a poppy seed (or smaller)....and yet, immediately you want nothing more than to keep that child safe, to feel it grow, to meet him/her and to continue to protect and nurture him.
Yet, it's completely out of your hands. At this point, millions of things are happening each second with your baby. He's working on growing organs, working on making those adorable 10 fingers and 10 toes that you'll later stare at in amazement...kiss, tickle and eat. At this moment, you're trusting God has a plan, He will grow your baby strong, He will introduce you to your baby when His time is right.
The moment I saw that positive test...I prayed that this time would be His time...that this time...it would all go right in my eyes. That this time, I will get to snuggle with my baby and bring him home to meet his big brother and big sister.
So, as I wake up each day feeling sick because something the size of a grape is growing every moment inside of me. As I worry about who will sleep where, how this will change my relationship with my husband, and how we will pay for college...I trust in HIM who gave this child to me and I remember: