Sunday, December 12, 2010

We're Pregnant!!!

I can't be the only one who has ever looked at a pregnancy test and felt at the exact moment a whirl of emotions ranging from pure ecstatic joy to deep fear...or I suppose if I am the only one, I should explain.

This pregnancy is so joyful, I was thrilled when I saw a positive result. My first impulse: call Lisa and begin scheming how I will tell Nick. Yes, that's right folks, my husband was not the first to find out...but he wasn't the last either.

I love my husband and he is everything to me...but there's something about a girlfriend who is the other half of your brain. I could not possibly begin to process or truly accept I was pregnant until the other half of my brain I called Lisa.

She immediately understood, was excited with me, and then started asking all the questions that were going through my head. How was I feeling? Was it like the last time? Did I feel like this baby would "stick"? What would do about a car? What would we do about sharing rooms? Who will sleep where? What about names! What about my body! What about money, paying for college, paying for diapers! Will I stay with my same doctor or use the doctor who delivered Murray last time? What an adventure to be pregnant at the same time as my sister! and I'm certain many more...

These are the thoughts that go through the head of a experienced mom who knows what to expect...who knows what can go wrong. When you find out your pregnant, the baby is about the size of a poppy seed (or smaller)....and yet, immediately you want nothing more than to keep that child safe, to feel it grow, to meet him/her and to continue to protect and nurture him.

Yet, it's completely out of your hands. At this point, millions of things are happening each second with your baby. He's working on growing organs, working on making those adorable 10 fingers and 10 toes that you'll later stare at in amazement...kiss, tickle and eat. At this moment, you're trusting God has a plan, He will grow your baby strong, He will introduce you to your baby when His time is right.

The moment I saw that positive test...I prayed that this time would be His time...that this would all go right in my eyes. That this time, I will get to snuggle with my baby and bring him home to meet his big brother and big sister.

So, as I wake up each day feeling sick because something the size of a grape is growing every moment inside of me. As I worry about who will sleep where, how this will change my relationship with my husband, and how we will pay for college...I trust in HIM who gave this child to me and I remember:

Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not

on your own understanding. In all of your ways submit to him

and HE will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Just in case you're worried....I told Nick later that the funnest way I could imagine. I had a close friend of ours call him and act like it was common knowledge. (This was how we shared the news of our engagement with a friend of mine Taiwan) He didn't buy it at first...thought she was crazy...but when I walked into the room laughing he started laughing too, realized what was going on and we were both laughing and crying tears of joy!

What a blessing this child will be...and if it's anything like the other adorable, loud and much fun this child will be! I'm 10 weeks today and we went to the doctor last Friday. Everything is going well and the baby is "just as it should be". Lucy is super excited to have a baby this summer and Murray is starting to make some sense of it.

We look forward to the coming months and especially for July when we get to meet and hold our new addition!