Friday, December 14, 2012

Change is in the Air

Sometimes life settles into a routine and you get your groove when suddenly everything turns upside down. That's how this fall as been at our house. I look back at my last few postings in ahem...October...and think about how much our lives have changed since then. While I was fighting some sort of bug we were actively anticipating the END of Nick's masters program. I knew that while the promise of evening free and endless family time were probably a little too good to be true, I hoped for a bit more flexibility in his non-working hours and looked forward to selfishly leaving him with 3 kids while I reclaimed a small portion of my identity outside of the family...I'm not sure I had thought about how or what I would do, but I knew taking a class or setting up a standing coffee date would do the trick. 

We also eagerly anticipated weaning Ginny. (well, I eagerly anticipated it anyway). Sleepless nights, early mornings and a lack of dates with my hubby were all sacrifices I willingly made for my sweet baby girl who was super attached to me and only me, but the time was coming for her to learn that she has 2 parents who love her and are able to care for her...and sleeping through the night is beneficial for ALL of us involved. 

Well, just about that time my little bug cleared up, it seemed the medicine from the doctor was doing the trick and I was feeling like myself. Life was going grand. We had our family under control we were ready to celebrate. 

About a week later I just became overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by life away from family, caring for children and still not feeling completely healthy. So I did what any normal self respecting adult would do and I called my parents crying...well bawling actually. I'm pretty sure they could hardly understand the words coming out of my mouth, but after our long tearful phone call a train ticket was bought and my dad assured me he would come for a visit that weekend. (I have pretty amazing parents). 

So, Pop Pop came for a visit. For some reason the medicine stopped working and I was feeling worse, but we played, we cleaned he helped me get on top of a few chores and mostly he just reminded me that even though I'm grown, I'm loved. We tearfully sent him home on the train, Lucy and I could hardly control ourselves as we waved goodbye. 

The next night it happened...our lives forever changed and the pieces clicked together. In a spiteful act against comments on facebook I took an at home pregnancy test. I was sick...NOT pregnant...until I saw the results of that test and started laughing and crying all at the same time. 

Just when we thought we were ready to relax, calm our lives down and move onto the next "phase" God threw us for a loop and sent us another blessing from heaven. It took us awhile to rejoice, a visit to the emergency room for fluids and an emergency visit from my mom to get our (well my) feet back under me, but we're excited for this adventure God has planned for us. 

Murray is excited that our family will have 6 people in it (and he's hoping for a brother). Lucy excited for a baby she can snuggle and hold that doesn't try to get away and Ginny...well she's excited it meant I was too exhausted to force her to wean just yet...and I'm sure she'll love being a big sister once she gets over having to share me. 

This adventure has led to a series of transitions and changes in our lives. Lucy started attending the public school up the street. It was a tearful decision, but one we made with confidence. School wasn't happening at home, field trips were non-existent in my nauseous state and she was quickly falling behind in important skills like reading. I miss her terribly, miss our crafts, miss our snuggling up with a book throughout the day, but she's growing so much attending school and I know she'll get the independence she craves while I'm home with 2 littles next fall. It's hard to imagine sending 2 "big" kids to school and being home with a 2 year old and an infant once again...didn't I just do that a few years ago, and now those littles are getting bigger each day. 

Change is in the air. Our family is growing and changing in ways we can't even begin to anticipate, but we're trusting God on this one...this child was completely His plan, His design for our family and something about that is exciting and nerve racking all at the same time.