Wednesday, September 16, 2015

These are my people

Being a mom of 4 kids 9 and under, I don't have many dull moments. If I do happen upon one it usually is followed by some sort of chaos, someone screaming, a huge mess, someone starving or bleeding...I have a few dramatic children, so nearly anything can be made into a crisis (we've had a few rough moments about which way the wind was blowing in the window). You can't make this stuff up. 

However, as they are growing bigger, more of my moments are filled with interacting with them, watching them, playing with them, rather than actually tending to their needs. No one is nursing anymore, only the youngest is in diapers and they can all feed themselves (for the most part). 

Every once in a while I get to watch them without them being aware. A glimpse at who they are trying to be, a moment of make believe, of mimicking an older sibling (or me!), a moment lost in their own thoughts. Lately, as this happens I keep being in awe of these people. These little beings that have been so attached to me are growing into small humans. They each see the world in their own unique way, have their own reactions and responses to each situation as it presents itself and each add to our family in such a special way. 

They're each growing at their own pace, but the end point is obvious from the biggest down to the smallest of them. One day they will each grow fully into their own person. They won't need me anymore. All the ways that I spend my days busily caring for them will disappear as they will have learned to not only care for themselves, but for others. 

This simple fact amazes me. I know this is what motherhood is about. Shaping and molding children to one day contribute to this world, but to watch it begin to unfold before my own eyes, well, it's a little bit miraculous. These are my people. The people I love and care for. The people who I grew for months on end and rocked and nursed at all hours of the night. These are my people and I love them, I find them amazing, interesting and complex. 

These are my people. 

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Same New Beginnings

We're settling into routine out west and this year was the first year since I've been a mom that the beginning of the school year has looked the same as the previous one. We still had moments of wondering what the class would be like missing a few friends, a few tears over the end of summer (not only from me...), and a small amount of anxiety over the new beginnings that the school year brought, but it was nice to have it all be familiar. It was nice to expect and anticipate the routine that would be coming. To know what our days would look like and to be eager to return to familiar friends and activities. 

The big kids started school a few weeks earlier this year, but Ginny's preschool still waited to start until after the late labor day. This gave the littles and I a few weeks to do a few final visits to the zoo and playgrounds and soak up the last few days of summer. It was wonderful. We missed the bigs, but it was also so fun to see Wiley and Ginny lean on each other as playmates, making the transition from a house full to just the other for entertainment. 

This mama heart is full. It is great to have confidence in where I send my kids each day. They each have good teachers this year that will help shape them in the coming months. Ginny is in love with her preschool teacher and is already eagerly anticipating joining Lucy and Murray next year at their school. I'm pretty sure everyone will know her before she steps in for her first day and she will feel like the queen bee in kindergarten. She's a hoot how she chats up anyone who will listen once we're on campus. 

New beginnings none the less. It's all the same, familiar, but different. 

Lucy's in 4th grade and beginning to make that transition towards middle school. She's started playing soccer after school and is joining handbells (forgoing band because she didn't want another instrument to practice at home). We're starting to see friendships become more solid and she's becoming more aware of her peers and social things. 

Murray...well he's our steady eddy. Still all about running and being one of the fastest boys in his class. He's pretty easy going and I'm not sure much can shake him. It's fun to hear how he's immersed back with his friends and I love that they're growing up together. 

Ginny and Wiley. I won't be able to lump them together much longer. I am here, because well, that's where I sense the change. They play so creatively together. Often I overhear them playing house with Ginny being the mama and Wiley playing the part of a puppy or baby, they just find joy every day. I feel this year that these days are fleeting. In the past I've felt the start of a school year as a time to come up for air and just relax a bit, this year I feel the rush. The rush to just soak it all in before I start to lose them to school days and friends. Wiley's afternoon naps are numbered, Ginny's lazy mornings at home, outings in the neighborhood and trips to the grocery store after dropping the bigs at school...these things, they're all numbered now. Where before I felt like I was drowning in little people, I now see the end and I'm not ready for it just yet. So, for now we'll take each day as it comes. Settle into our school year and soak up as many snuggles and lazy days as we can manage. We'll also keep playing and being creative, cheering on the bigs in all they're accomplishing and just keep growing the best we can out west.