Tuesday, October 30, 2012
As Ginny gets older she's becoming an expert at tantrums. Today was a doosy. She hadn't really napped. Falling asleep for a few minutes on the way home from co-op and just refusing to resettle once she was in the door. I rocked her asleep, laid her down and she screamed. After awhile I got her up and she played happily for a bit.
Then it happened...
she leaned over for a toy, lost her balance and knocked her head on the bench.
Under any circumstance this would have caused tears, but the overtired Ginny, just couldn't control herself. She LOST IT COMPLETELY. Nothing could calm her down. After about 30 minutes of screaming I took her up to her room and rocked her. Another 20 minutes and she was sound asleep. So I tried to lay her down. Immediately her body became stiff, rigid and the tears started to come. I tried to lay next to her in my bed and the kicking and crying continued.
Finally my mom intervened and somehow we got her calm enough to continue on with our day. Over an hour after the crying had begun...let's be honest, close to an hour and a half!
While holding this screaming baby and willing her to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder about myself. I've been having a bit of a tantrum lately. A disagreement with God if you will. He seems to think our lives should go down one path...I seem to be perfectly content continuing along the path already laid out for me.
I wonder if He looks at me, His creation as I was looking at Ginny as she screamed. Telling her to just give in, rest in my arms and go to sleep...to trust me that I knew what was best for her.
I felt a little silly. Don't think all my fears are gone about this new path or any of my apprehension really, but I wonder if my tear streamed face looks at all to my heavenly father the way Ginny's did to me today.
Does He find it silly that I'm fighting Him when He knows the end and knows that I will be better off with His plans over mine? I may want to continue with life as I know it, but He knows life will be infinitely better if I just rest in His arms and follow His plans.
Oh how I love when God speaks to me through my children...I'm not quite sure I'm done with this tantrum just yet...but I'm beginning to see it for what it is...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."