Salt and Vinegar

When I was pregnant with Ginny I tasted salt and vinegar potato chips for the first time...they were to say the least one of the most delicious things I had ever tasted as a pregnant lady. I was at a friend's house and politely ate a small serving with my sandwich. The next time I was at the store I bought myself a bag figuring I'd indulge at lunch every once in awhile...well, a few hours later the bag was empty and I went back to the store for some more later that week. 

It became a joke at our house to see how long the bag would last...totally out of character for me to indulge in such a junk food, but at the time when keeping food down was a challenge something that tasted good and remained where I put it was a welcome change. 

The kids hated the smell of the chips, just opening the bag would send them running...and Nick didn't love it either. When we went to a hotel and were overcome by a strong vinegar cleaning odor Murray cheerfully said "Mommy, it smells like your chippies in here!" 

Once Ginny was born I didn't allow myself to purchase a bag...EVER. So, I don't know if I actually only like the chips pregnant...I was always too afraid I'd eat the whole bag in 2 days again...something ok when you're pregnant, but NOT when you're trying to lose the baby weight!

So this October when I found out I was expecting the chips suddenly started calling to me at the store once again. I resisted...for many months I resisted, telling myself I didn't really like them...didn't really need them. Then one day about 2 weeks ago I just couldn't resist anymore. They were on sale again and they found their way into the cart. 


When I arrived home I hadn't even unloaded all the groceries before I opened the bag. The kids eagerly ran over to see if they could get a few chips, a rare treat at this house...until they got close enough to smell them...and then they turned up their noses and walked away from the bag...all of them EXCEPT Ginny that is. She happily reached into the bag and started eating the chips and came back for more. The chips have become a weekly purchase once again, but this time I can't say I've eaten the entire bag on my own...if left within her reach Ginny has often been found breaking into the bag and eating some chips at all hours of the day. Guess it's true that pregnancy cravings continue in the child...Lucy does love sausage and mandarin oranges and Murray can't get enough salad or pb&J...wonder what this little boy will love like that?!? Maybe salt and vinegar chips and mashed potatoes!

27 weeks

Tomorrow I'll be 27 weeks pregnant. It seems like this pregnancy is finally starting to pass me by. Those first few weeks dragged and each moment of the day was almost painful to make it through. Struggling physically and emotionally with a pregnancy is not an ideal situation. But our little guy hung in there with me while the Big Guy did some work on me...and now we're here. Just 8 days away from the 3rd trimester. No more than 11 weeks away from meeting this little man! 

My body must know something is changing, a sense of urgency to begin preparing the things I can prepare. This week alone I've starting collecting baby boy clothes, socks and hats for the warmer weather, I reserved our newborn cloth diaper rental and picked up the car seat we'll be using from a friend. There's more to do and I know nesting will kick in at a later date, but for the time being I'm embracing this pregnancy and savoring thoughts of warmer weather, baby snuggles and the occasional glass of wine. I can almost smell it if I close my eyes and wish it here. Some of the most delightful times in my life have been warm summer nights snuggling a nursing baby or sitting in the 3 season room on a warm evening talking with Nick while passing a new baby back and forth. 

This little man. This little man is proving difficult to name. We have a list, we have preferred names on the list, but no front runner...and to make it even more difficult this time around Lucy is offering quite the opinion. I hope she isn't upset when we tell her the baby's name at the hospital! For that matter...I hope Nick isn't upset when I snuggle this boy in his first moments of life and decide on his name. This baby boy is definitely mine to name! 

This baby boy who I've visited so many times on an ultrasound screen that I'm getting good at picking out the heart, the umbilical cord and the kidneys as the technician does her measurements. Little fingers and toes are always a joy to see and of course that sweet baby profile. While I'm not thankful for why we're having ultrasounds done so frequently, I am thankful for the visits with my little man and the presence he's making in our lives already. It may have taken a bit longer to get here, but this little man has crawled his way into my heart and is there to stay. 

MARBLE!

We've had a week of high fevers at our house for the youngest two, and while the fevers are gone we're still getting back on track, trying to get our routine going in the midst of runny noses and coughing. 

Yesterday I insisted that the tv get turned off and some quality playtime happen. There's no reason to just lay around when you're healthy. So Murray ventured into the game closet and picked out Marble Works. 

I was finishing up a few cleaning chores with Ginny asleep on my back. Murray couldn't wait any longer and began piecing together a track for the marbles. I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but I let him keep at it. When I had finished my chores he had a great race track built and the marbles made it to the end! He was SO proud of himself and I was really proud of him. So we got down to racing. He had the 5 blue and green marbles, I had the 1 red marble (strangely enough...he kept winning). 

In the midst of our marble noise Ginny woke up from her nap on my back. I took her down and she watched the marbles carefully, looking down the pipes and pieces to see where they would go. After a few minutes she picked up a marble and started figuring out how to make it work. Within a few minutes she was clapping, laughing and doing her best to shout "go" as the marbles raced down the track. 

Murray decided to hook up the "marble slide" it's a piece that can be a bit tricky sending marbles shooting out all over the room, but he wanted to give it a try. Sure enough marbles went rolling, but they all landed safely and Ginny laughed and clapped. So of course, Murray did it again. 

A minute or two later Murray sent all 6 marbles flying down the slide at the same time shooting them across the room at Ginny. She smiled and clear as day shouted out "MARBLE!!!", then laughed and chased after them. 

The rest of the day we kept getting her to say "marble". She has a few words, Mama, Da, Na/No...but really hasn't started naming objects yet. She does lots of pointing, grunting, signing and sometimes screaming to get what she wants. Sure enough...she's just holding out on us! Marble is her first "true word". 

Love it! I love hearing her say it in her sweet little voice and I love how proud both Lucy and Murray are toward her. Prompting her to say it, clapping for her and Lucy even told me how "cute" it sounded when Ginny said it. I love watching these little people grow!

Quiet Giggles

On Friday mornings Nick walks Lucy to school and then takes Murray into work with him so he can spend the morning at preschool. Ginny and I are left home in the quiet...that's right...quiet. 

We often find ourselves going back up to my big bed with a bucket of books and snuggling and reading for a chunk of the morning. We then get up for a snack and do some playtime. Some quality mommy,Ginny playtime. This morning it was tents. She hid in them and played peekaboo, I stuck my hands in and tickled her toes and chased her around for almost an hour of giggles and hiding and just plain toddler fun. 

We watched the garbage man take the garbage away, we shared a few secret jelly beans and played with her baby doll. It was a glorious morning. 

Then she started watching out the window, pointing at cars and people passing. I looked at the clock and noticed on a normal Friday Nick and Murray would be coming in the door to share lunch with us and our quiet would end. Today, Murray was joining Nick at the junior high for lunch and we were on our own. So we made some lunch and sat at the table. Sharing a conversation full of "yum" and "more" and other chatter. 

It was in the midst of this lunch that I said to Ginny "I think it's going to be very quiet around here next fall with just you and a baby brother around." and then I chuckled. I laughed because it would be true, with two big kids off at school it will seem quiet and calm around the house...but the reality is that it will still be very full. Full of giggles and a crying infant and lovely moments of life. 

So we're just enjoying our last few moments of quiet around here before the boys come home and it's time to settle down for nap. 

Hope you get a few good giggles and snuggles today.

Anticipation

We're supposed to get a "January Thaw" later this week, temps as high as 48...if we're lucky they may even reach 50! I have to admit, I'm looking forward to it, hoping to go on a few walks around the block and send the kids out back in boots to slosh around on the swing set. 

While today wasn't warm by any stretch of the imagination, you could tell we're headed in that direction. The sun is shining and the roads were wet as the piles of snow starting to melt along them. 

It made me excited. Not just excited for the end of this week when we won't be fighting the bitter cold, but excited for spring. 

Excited to see plants blooming, grass growing and the ducks return to our stream. Excited for the sun on my face and grass in my toes and feeling warm inside and out. 

Mostly, I'm excited to meet this little guy growing inside me. I can't wait to count his fingers and toes, snuggle him close and find out his name. I can't wait to be finished with the pregnant stage of my life and enjoying our family with our newest addition. 

I'm sure hoping the groundhog doesn't see his shadow in a few weeks, because I'm not sure how much more winter this lady can handle! Hurry up spring!

Change is in the Air

Sometimes life settles into a routine and you get your groove when suddenly everything turns upside down. That's how this fall as been at our house. I look back at my last few postings in ahem...October...and think about how much our lives have changed since then. While I was fighting some sort of bug we were actively anticipating the END of Nick's masters program. I knew that while the promise of evening free and endless family time were probably a little too good to be true, I hoped for a bit more flexibility in his non-working hours and looked forward to selfishly leaving him with 3 kids while I reclaimed a small portion of my identity outside of the family...I'm not sure I had thought about how or what I would do, but I knew taking a class or setting up a standing coffee date would do the trick. 

We also eagerly anticipated weaning Ginny. (well, I eagerly anticipated it anyway). Sleepless nights, early mornings and a lack of dates with my hubby were all sacrifices I willingly made for my sweet baby girl who was super attached to me and only me, but the time was coming for her to learn that she has 2 parents who love her and are able to care for her...and sleeping through the night is beneficial for ALL of us involved. 

Well, just about that time my little bug cleared up, it seemed the medicine from the doctor was doing the trick and I was feeling like myself. Life was going grand. We had our family under control we were ready to celebrate. 

About a week later I just became overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by life away from family, caring for children and still not feeling completely healthy. So I did what any normal self respecting adult would do and I called my parents crying...well bawling actually. I'm pretty sure they could hardly understand the words coming out of my mouth, but after our long tearful phone call a train ticket was bought and my dad assured me he would come for a visit that weekend. (I have pretty amazing parents). 

So, Pop Pop came for a visit. For some reason the medicine stopped working and I was feeling worse, but we played, we cleaned he helped me get on top of a few chores and mostly he just reminded me that even though I'm grown, I'm loved. We tearfully sent him home on the train, Lucy and I could hardly control ourselves as we waved goodbye. 

The next night it happened...our lives forever changed and the pieces clicked together. In a spiteful act against comments on facebook I took an at home pregnancy test. I was sick...NOT pregnant...until I saw the results of that test and started laughing and crying all at the same time. 

Just when we thought we were ready to relax, calm our lives down and move onto the next "phase" God threw us for a loop and sent us another blessing from heaven. It took us awhile to rejoice, a visit to the emergency room for fluids and an emergency visit from my mom to get our (well my) feet back under me, but we're excited for this adventure God has planned for us. 

Murray is excited that our family will have 6 people in it (and he's hoping for a brother). Lucy excited for a baby she can snuggle and hold that doesn't try to get away and Ginny...well she's excited it meant I was too exhausted to force her to wean just yet...and I'm sure she'll love being a big sister once she gets over having to share me. 

This adventure has led to a series of transitions and changes in our lives. Lucy started attending the public school up the street. It was a tearful decision, but one we made with confidence. School wasn't happening at home, field trips were non-existent in my nauseous state and she was quickly falling behind in important skills like reading. I miss her terribly, miss our crafts, miss our snuggling up with a book throughout the day, but she's growing so much attending school and I know she'll get the independence she craves while I'm home with 2 littles next fall. It's hard to imagine sending 2 "big" kids to school and being home with a 2 year old and an infant once again...didn't I just do that a few years ago, and now those littles are getting bigger each day. 

Change is in the air. Our family is growing and changing in ways we can't even begin to anticipate, but we're trusting God on this one...this child was completely His plan, His design for our family and something about that is exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. 

Temper Tantrums

As Ginny gets older she's becoming an expert at tantrums. Today was a doosy. She hadn't really napped. Falling asleep for a few minutes on the way home from co-op and just refusing to resettle once she was in the door. I rocked her asleep, laid her down and she screamed. After awhile I got her up and she played happily for a bit. 

Then it happened...

she leaned over for a toy, lost her balance and knocked her head on the bench. 

ouch!

Under any circumstance this would have caused tears, but the overtired Ginny, just couldn't control herself. She LOST IT COMPLETELY. Nothing could calm her down. After about 30 minutes of screaming I took her up to her room and rocked her. Another 20 minutes and she was sound asleep. So I tried to lay her down. Immediately her body became stiff, rigid and the tears started to come. I tried to lay next to her in my bed and the kicking and crying continued. 

Finally my mom intervened and somehow we got her calm enough to continue on with our day. Over an hour after the crying had begun...let's be honest, close to an hour and a half!

While holding this screaming baby and willing her to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder about myself. I've been having a bit of a tantrum lately. A disagreement with God if you will. He seems to think our lives should go down one path...I seem to be perfectly content continuing along the path already laid out for me. 

I wonder if He looks at me, His creation as I was looking at Ginny as she screamed. Telling her to just give in, rest in my arms and go to sleep...to trust me that I knew what was best for her. 

I felt a little silly. Don't think all my fears are gone about this new path or any of my apprehension really, but I wonder if my tear streamed face looks at all to my heavenly father the way Ginny's did to me today. 

Does He find it silly that I'm fighting Him when He knows the end and knows that I will be better off with His plans over mine? I may want to continue with life as I know it, but He knows life will be infinitely better if I just rest in His arms and follow His plans. 

Oh how I love when God speaks to me through my children...I'm not quite sure I'm done with this tantrum just yet...but I'm beginning to see it for what it is...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11