Sunday, September 1, 2013

I'm Not Ready Yet!

It's been a busy summer around our house. We kicked it off (a little early for Lucy, but Murray had finished we'll count it as summer) with a new baby brother! We're so glad Wiley joined us this summer!
Following Wiley's arrival we had a slew of guests we absolutely LOVE to see.  A little bit of travel while Nick was out of town, a short weekend adventure in Chicago (more on that later) and then when we landed at home we started the preparations for Jr. High VBS, and by "we" I mean Nick worked like crazy and we tried to hold down the fort, feed him when he was home and get in any "daddy time" we could when he was available. August was VBS (the kids LOVED it), then Nick was gone for 4 days and I tried my hand at being the sole parent to 4 children...let's just say things went really well, but I was just as excited as the kids with Nick arrived home!
Finally last week we had a breath of fresh air. The summer busyness died down and we spent a week of vacation together as a family. We did not turn on a TV once, I was offline the whole week (Nick did check his email a few times and post a few pictures from his phone). It was GLORIOUS! We came back rejuvenated as a family with memories that will last us a lifetime. (Thanks to our friends and their generosity so we could enjoy this time together).'s back to school. This is the first year we've done this back to school thing. The first year we've jumped right in with the rest of the world. The first year we're not homeschooling, the first year that going to school is every day, all day...and for more than 1 of our kids.
To say there are nerves in our house is an understatement. As the mom, I'm keeping my feelings to myself. Telling the kids what a great time they'll have. Getting them excited about their teachers and their friends that they'll get to see. But, inwardly I'm crying...throwing a bit of a tantrum if you will. I'm not READY to send them off for the day. Oh, sure, I have thoughts of what the days will be like quieter, how great it will be to spend time with just Ginny and Wiley...but then my thoughts wander to Ginny in the backyard with Murray, to Lucy snuggling Wiley on the Lucy reading stories to Ginny and Murray making Wiley smile and coo with his crazy noises.
This is when I know I'm sending part of my heart away for 7 hours a day. Ok, that may sound dramatic, but it's true! I know our family dynamic will change, I know that our house will run at a different beat. It will take a while for us to find our school "tune" if you will. We'll find it, we'll settle into a rhythm and a routine soon enough, the kids will enjoy school and I'll enjoy the time with my littles at home...but I still might make a paper chain counting down to Thanksgiving break...I may hide it in my closet so the kids don't know about it, but I can't say I'm excited to send them off to school. I'm excited for them to have a taste of independence, excited for them to learn and grow, but I'm not quite ready to let them go. So I'll just keep counting the days until I get them back for awhile again.
So today and tomorrow you'll find me with my family. Working together, playing together and wishing that summer was just a little bit longer...

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