Change is in the Air

Sometimes life settles into a routine and you get your groove when suddenly everything turns upside down. That's how this fall as been at our house. I look back at my last few postings in ahem...October...and think about how much our lives have changed since then. While I was fighting some sort of bug we were actively anticipating the END of Nick's masters program. I knew that while the promise of evening free and endless family time were probably a little too good to be true, I hoped for a bit more flexibility in his non-working hours and looked forward to selfishly leaving him with 3 kids while I reclaimed a small portion of my identity outside of the family...I'm not sure I had thought about how or what I would do, but I knew taking a class or setting up a standing coffee date would do the trick. 

We also eagerly anticipated weaning Ginny. (well, I eagerly anticipated it anyway). Sleepless nights, early mornings and a lack of dates with my hubby were all sacrifices I willingly made for my sweet baby girl who was super attached to me and only me, but the time was coming for her to learn that she has 2 parents who love her and are able to care for her...and sleeping through the night is beneficial for ALL of us involved. 

Well, just about that time my little bug cleared up, it seemed the medicine from the doctor was doing the trick and I was feeling like myself. Life was going grand. We had our family under control we were ready to celebrate. 

About a week later I just became overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by life away from family, caring for children and still not feeling completely healthy. So I did what any normal self respecting adult would do and I called my parents crying...well bawling actually. I'm pretty sure they could hardly understand the words coming out of my mouth, but after our long tearful phone call a train ticket was bought and my dad assured me he would come for a visit that weekend. (I have pretty amazing parents). 

So, Pop Pop came for a visit. For some reason the medicine stopped working and I was feeling worse, but we played, we cleaned he helped me get on top of a few chores and mostly he just reminded me that even though I'm grown, I'm loved. We tearfully sent him home on the train, Lucy and I could hardly control ourselves as we waved goodbye. 

The next night it happened...our lives forever changed and the pieces clicked together. In a spiteful act against comments on facebook I took an at home pregnancy test. I was sick...NOT pregnant...until I saw the results of that test and started laughing and crying all at the same time. 

Just when we thought we were ready to relax, calm our lives down and move onto the next "phase" God threw us for a loop and sent us another blessing from heaven. It took us awhile to rejoice, a visit to the emergency room for fluids and an emergency visit from my mom to get our (well my) feet back under me, but we're excited for this adventure God has planned for us. 

Murray is excited that our family will have 6 people in it (and he's hoping for a brother). Lucy excited for a baby she can snuggle and hold that doesn't try to get away and Ginny...well she's excited it meant I was too exhausted to force her to wean just yet...and I'm sure she'll love being a big sister once she gets over having to share me. 

This adventure has led to a series of transitions and changes in our lives. Lucy started attending the public school up the street. It was a tearful decision, but one we made with confidence. School wasn't happening at home, field trips were non-existent in my nauseous state and she was quickly falling behind in important skills like reading. I miss her terribly, miss our crafts, miss our snuggling up with a book throughout the day, but she's growing so much attending school and I know she'll get the independence she craves while I'm home with 2 littles next fall. It's hard to imagine sending 2 "big" kids to school and being home with a 2 year old and an infant once again...didn't I just do that a few years ago, and now those littles are getting bigger each day. 

Change is in the air. Our family is growing and changing in ways we can't even begin to anticipate, but we're trusting God on this one...this child was completely His plan, His design for our family and something about that is exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. 

Temper Tantrums

As Ginny gets older she's becoming an expert at tantrums. Today was a doosy. She hadn't really napped. Falling asleep for a few minutes on the way home from co-op and just refusing to resettle once she was in the door. I rocked her asleep, laid her down and she screamed. After awhile I got her up and she played happily for a bit. 

Then it happened...

she leaned over for a toy, lost her balance and knocked her head on the bench. 

ouch!

Under any circumstance this would have caused tears, but the overtired Ginny, just couldn't control herself. She LOST IT COMPLETELY. Nothing could calm her down. After about 30 minutes of screaming I took her up to her room and rocked her. Another 20 minutes and she was sound asleep. So I tried to lay her down. Immediately her body became stiff, rigid and the tears started to come. I tried to lay next to her in my bed and the kicking and crying continued. 

Finally my mom intervened and somehow we got her calm enough to continue on with our day. Over an hour after the crying had begun...let's be honest, close to an hour and a half!

While holding this screaming baby and willing her to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder about myself. I've been having a bit of a tantrum lately. A disagreement with God if you will. He seems to think our lives should go down one path...I seem to be perfectly content continuing along the path already laid out for me. 

I wonder if He looks at me, His creation as I was looking at Ginny as she screamed. Telling her to just give in, rest in my arms and go to sleep...to trust me that I knew what was best for her. 

I felt a little silly. Don't think all my fears are gone about this new path or any of my apprehension really, but I wonder if my tear streamed face looks at all to my heavenly father the way Ginny's did to me today. 

Does He find it silly that I'm fighting Him when He knows the end and knows that I will be better off with His plans over mine? I may want to continue with life as I know it, but He knows life will be infinitely better if I just rest in His arms and follow His plans. 

Oh how I love when God speaks to me through my children...I'm not quite sure I'm done with this tantrum just yet...but I'm beginning to see it for what it is...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Wordless Wednesday

3 in a tub!

 

Gretta Muffin

One of my very dearest friends had a baby just over 2 months ago. Since before her arrival I've been thinking of what cute and unique baby gift I could send without spending a lot of money (hello...we live on a budget). Anyway, I hadn't thought of anything and every once in a while I'd get that pang of guilt that I was an awful friend. Enter a conversation with my friend where she explains they've been calling their baby "Gretta Muffin" so they want her to be a muffin for Halloween  Problem being, muffin costumes aren't easy to find and she doesn't have a sewing machine. Problem solved: a super cute, fun and useful gift I can create for this sweet baby Gretta! 

I used this as an inspiration, but tweaked it. I may still make a headpiece, but for now...here's the Gretta Muffin!


I liked the "picket" type wrapper the inspiration had, but thought that sewing would add a little more dimension so we picked the most "muffin wrapper" stitch and went up and down the fabric. 

I used a 3 month shirt from when Murray was a baby to measure the shawl part and chose to only hot glue on the blueberries. I sewed the suspenders in the back and safety pinned them in the front so Mama can adjust to fit Gretta as needed. 

Here's the costume hanging...can't wait to see it on sweet baby Gretta!

One more of it together! The shawl can be trimmed if it's too big for Gretta and I used velcro as an enclosure for the back! 

 

I LOVE IT!! Can't wait to see pictures of little Gretta in it and I just wished we lived closer so I could take a bite out of the Gretta Muffin! 

Loved getting the creative juices flowing today...and I especially love I wasn't keeping my hubby from his homework while he entertained the kids (they were making their own "brand" of IPA while I sewed). 

Mackinac Island

Here are a few of the pictures from Mackinac Island. We really did have a fun time. All the kiddos on the bench are our friend's family minus their baby and of course Ginny. All in all we walked around the island with 7 kiddos most of the time, we were quite the crowd!

We walked up and saw the Fort Mackinac. We were sad it was closed, but enjoyed seeing it from the outside and it was a good hike up there. 

Of course we visited Murray's Fudge and brought home some sweets from there...I think I'm in LOVE with the mint fudge and the kids picked the orange cream. Yum! It was beautiful and cold as I said before and except for Monday morning we didn't take too many pictures...when I was with the kiddos we were too busy chasing kids around and on Wednesday morning when we wandered around town it was just too cold! The kids loved everything about the island though, the boat ride over, the no cars (although we were thankful to have borrowed a double stroller so they could take breaks from walking) and all the sights were lots of fun. 

Lucy did hike up to Skull Cave and was a little disappointed she couldn't go in and that it didn't actually look like a skull. (I'll have to get that picture from Mendy of her at the cave).  


 

Trying to Get Back

I haven't written in quite some time. I could say it's been because life has been super busy (it has). I could say it's because I have 3 kids demanding my attention and by the time I get them all in bed for the night I struggle to complete thoughts (this is true). I could say it's because I keep starting ideas to write about and then struggle to follow them through to the end (oh wait...that's sort of what I just said). I could say it's because I've been struggling with life in general these days, homeschooling, getting my husband through his final masters class and raising my kiddos while keeping up with a house and all it entails have just seemed overwhelming (it is!).

All of these things are true. 

We just spent 3 days on Mackinac Island for a Pastor's conference. I'd like to tell you how beautiful the scenery was, how refreshing it was to get away and how I'm rejuvenated for life again, but really while we had a wonderful time; it was exhausting! I fell asleep by 9 most nights and missed out on lots of the socializing because I was doing fun things with my kiddos. I LOVE them! I love the fun things we did and I am SO incredibly thankful a friend also brought her kids so I had a companion through it all, but it was not refreshing. The scenery was beautiful and it was COLD!

I am thankful we went. I am thankful for the times in the car when Nick was taking a break from his final project and conversation happened. I'm thankful for the music we listened to and the family time we had. I'm especially thankful for the friends I did see and get to connect with in person. 

I came home realizing while I'm still exhausted and overwhelmed as Nick makes this final push to finish his class and we regain a piece of him we've been missing for the last 8 weeks, it's time for me. 

I'm not one to say that. I love giving myself to my family. I would rather do something fun with them than by myself any day, but as I've struggled through the past few weeks I've realized that I've lost something. I've given up a chance to be creative, to think the thoughts that are in my head and to just stop and listen to where the Lord wants me to go. 

Decisions I had made with conviction are now being second guessed, ideas that once helped define who I was as a wife, mother and woman have been left by the wayside and it's time to get those creative juices flowing. 

So...I apologize if the next few blog posts are incomplete or make little sense, but I'm going to hit post before I can second guess them. I'm going to shut the door to the extra bedroom on Saturday while Nick and the kids rescue princess Zelda and I'm going to create a princess tooth pillow, a pirate tooth pillow and a muffin costume. 

Then...Saturday Night I will go out alone with my hubby and have a complete thought and slowly I'm hoping to regain some pep in my step and stay up past 9 pm. 

...and then we'll wean the baby...

The New School Year

Today was a BIG day for a lot of our friends. It was the first day of a new school year. We chose to have ours last week. We started on Thursday after being up late the night before having the end of summer movie in our backyard for "daddy's big kids". It wasn't a big deal for anyone but us. We got down to the business of learning. 

Ginny practiced being Ginny. She colored, looked at books and screamed. She added to the chaos to say the least and will have to learn (quickly) that sitting on the table and taking the pages people are working on is NOT a productive way to spend her school time!

Murray worked on the letter F, a few mazes and some number activities. 

Lucy opened new books, tried her hand at 1st grade math (easy!), science, spelling and READING! We were VERY excited at the end of a long day when we finally found a quiet moment to curl up on the sofa and try out the new reader I had bought her. She was very nervous insisting she couldn't and I urged her to just try. So, try she did and she did it! She read! I had only planned on her reading the first 1/2 of the story, but she just kept going. She read on and on and on. 

She tasted sweet success and in that moment I was thankful for having her home. Thankful for moving at her pace. Thankful for seeing the pride in her eyes and being able to share that moment with my daughter. 

While our neighborhood kids had their first day of school we had our first day of home school co-op. It was a hit all around! Murray loved his preschool class, Lucy came home excited about P.E., her other classes and the new friends she had made. Ginny successfully stayed in the nursery (and even took a nap) during 3rd hour when I couldn't be with her. I enjoyed some adult company and hearing other moms talk about what they do for school. I also really enjoyed helping out in a classroom of older kids and seeing where they're at in their home school process. 

All around our school year is off to a great start. 

Life is busy right now, but it's even more full. We have a lot of good things going on and it's fun to be the mama watching these kiddos grow. My hands may be full, but they're full of love and goodness and with that, I don't have much time for anything else.