These are my people

Being a mom of 4 kids 9 and under, I don't have many dull moments. If I do happen upon one it usually is followed by some sort of chaos, someone screaming, a huge mess, someone starving or bleeding...I have a few dramatic children, so nearly anything can be made into a crisis (we've had a few rough moments about which way the wind was blowing in the window). You can't make this stuff up. 

However, as they are growing bigger, more of my moments are filled with interacting with them, watching them, playing with them, rather than actually tending to their needs. No one is nursing anymore, only the youngest is in diapers and they can all feed themselves (for the most part). 

Every once in a while I get to watch them without them being aware. A glimpse at who they are trying to be, a moment of make believe, of mimicking an older sibling (or me!), a moment lost in their own thoughts. Lately, as this happens I keep being in awe of these people. These little beings that have been so attached to me are growing into small humans. They each see the world in their own unique way, have their own reactions and responses to each situation as it presents itself and each add to our family in such a special way. 

They're each growing at their own pace, but the end point is obvious from the biggest down to the smallest of them. One day they will each grow fully into their own person. They won't need me anymore. All the ways that I spend my days busily caring for them will disappear as they will have learned to not only care for themselves, but for others. 

This simple fact amazes me. I know this is what motherhood is about. Shaping and molding children to one day contribute to this world, but to watch it begin to unfold before my own eyes, well, it's a little bit miraculous. These are my people. The people I love and care for. The people who I grew for months on end and rocked and nursed at all hours of the night. These are my people and I love them, I find them amazing, interesting and complex. 

These are my people. 

Little Things

I read a report in the "Real Simple" magazine a few weeks ago about happiness. It talked about how true happiness is in the little moments of life, we always picture it as a state of being or an achievement...something to strive for...but really it's about different moments throughout the day and how they make you feel, how you respond to them.

When I read this article I was laying in bed exhausted, sick and struggling to make it through each day. I thought it was very interesting, but didn't reflect on it much at the time.

Today I feel I'm turning a corner.

Today I feel like I am having more and more moments of happiness. Moments of joy in my day...while each day is still taking much more effort than a normal day should, I'm once again able to appreciate the time I have with each of my children.

Murray and I had an hour after his nap today before Nick and Lucy came home. We read books together, played "monster" a game where he covers my face and I roar at him when he pulls the blanket off (just not too loud b/c "it hurts my ears" he says), and then we played hockey and just snuggled.

Lucy has just been a joy. Aside from spilling a bowl of tomato soup on the floor she has been a great listener and just a joy to watch. She's so into her crafts, and she worked her way through a PuzzleBuzz magazine today. She's been really into helping with chores in the evening so we go to bed with a clean house.

Lucy also just came down a few minutes ago saying she had a bad dream (I'm doubtful she had fallen asleep yet). She then proceeded to tell me in detail about all these "mean pigs" and the things they were doing...throwing mud etc. By the time she went up to bed she was snuggly and giggly...I'm fairly certain I'll have a little girl to snuggle with when I go up to bed in a few minutes!

My kitchen counters are organized and wiped off thanks to a fun phone call with a friend that kept me moving around.

Nick made sure dinner was cooked and on the table before he left for youth night...and we had a great time cooking together and talking about our day while we did!

So, while this is still a tough pregnancy and I'm not going to jump ahead and say I'm feeling great...I am going to enjoy the little things. The parts of my day that remind me of all the happiness in my life!

Happiness is not a constant state...if it were, we would lose the joy in feeling happy. What a blessing to be able to enjoy a few moments of happiness even if they seem to be fleeting. Hang onto those moments...and just hope they continue to grow...the more moments you have...the happier you'll be :)

Diary of a Potty Training Mom

So, I think I'll leave this up today as we make yet another attempt at getting Murray fully potty trained. I know he's young, but I also know that Lucy was potty trained by this point, and I know he gets it because as long as he's naked he's successful. Alas, fall is upon us and so is chilly air...so between colder weather and my tiredness of his naked behind, we're giving underwear a try again. I'm setting the timer for 20 or 30 minute increments and having him sit.

It's 10:30 in the morning and so far we've been fairly successful. We had 3 successful potty breaks, and then a poopy accident, however he screamed for me as it was happening and cried about it. This is a step forward...he's never seemed to care about an accident before. Hooray...maybe we'll get there in the next few days! (We'll see if this optimism continues throughout the day). He just sat and didn't go...so we'll see what happens in the next 20 minutes.

10:58 am SUCCESS!!! dry underpants and pee pee on the potty!!! Now it's time for some painting before lunch...well, at least 25 minutes of painting before we try again.

Success again!!! dry underwear and pee pee in the potty!!!

Well, we had 2 more accidents. I ignored the timer and let him go a few more minutes and he was slightly wet. Then he sat and did nothing but while eating lunch he had an accident. Thus ends the morning. He's in a diaper and taking a nap now....we'll give it another try this afternoon.

This afternoon was an epic failure. We went through 4 pairs of underwear in less than an hour. I guess he had told me he didn't want underwear and he proved it! So, he's back in a diaper. We'll give it a go again tomorrow morning...maybe we'll wear underwear in the morning and diapers after nap for the next few months? This boy is certainly throwing me for a loop!